Keldorn Banter for ToB

[Bri]

Note: This is just a rough draft, and may be changed in the future. Additionally, this is one of 5 new banters done. If things don't go bad, I can count Jan and Haer Dalis' as finished after this weekend as well as Keldorn.

 

 

Possible Keldorn - Delainy Banter 3

 

Keldorn: "You have been quiet of late, Delainy. Is it the new moon already?"

 

Delainy: "No, it isn't. I have just been thinking, Keldorn. Probably too much so. If I don't keep my snout to the path, I'm likely to walk into a tree."

 

Keldorn: "Weighty matters, I presume. What are these burdens which consume you?"

 

Delainy: "I feel...incomplete. Even now, some part of me still misses my old pack. For example, I would have picked some young cub to be the Moon Dancer after me. I would have taught her our legends, our songs, our lore. As it stands, everything comes to an end with me. That...is a burden I didn't think of when I left."

 

Keldorn: "I don't know what advice I can give you that would ease your mind. You have to know what is right for you, and go after it."

 

Delainy: "At least you have it easy. All you have to do is pick one of your daughters to follow you in your paw prints. I think your youngest has the most potential..."

 

Keldorn: "Torm forbid, I hope my children don't follow in my footsteps. Though, if fate has it they must follow the path of war, then I will give them my blessing. Just what is wrong with my eldest?"

 

Delainy: "I thought it was customary among humans for the children to follow in the paths of their forebears. And there is nothing wrong with your eldest, but the littlest cub's spirit reminded me of you."

 

Keldorn: "I understand your confusion. It is true that it is customary for one's children to follow the profession of their parents, but this tradition isn't set in stone. Being a paladin isn't something one chooses by themselves. The gods pick who will serve them, and in what capacity. It is a heavy burden even at the best of times, and it can break the best of us at the worst of times."

[Raltar]

You've done an excellent job in writing the dialogue for Keldorn, in my opinion. With some mods I've played, the banters with NPCs don't really fit the bioware character very well.

[jester]

It's alive! IT'S A L I V E!!

 

 

 

 

 

----This random movie quote was brought to you by your friendly neighbourhood jester.

[Bri]

Well, obviously some NPCs are easier to do than others, and ultimately they are also up to the writer's interpretation.

 

And yes, Jester, I won't deny earning that raspberry

[Tameon the Dragoon]

I <3 Keldorn. As such, this is a great banter! He acts calmly and doesn't explode with racism or Paladin-esque snobbyness. However, contractions are bad, I think. And it may just be me, but the line "Just what is wrong with my eldest" is sort of a sudden change in topic. Perhaps a line or two leading up to it?

 

And yeah, I'm glad to see that things are progressing, as well. Keep at it, Bri!

[Bri]

I <3 Keldorn. As such, this is a great banter! He acts calmly and doesn't explode with racism or Paladin-esque snobbyness. However, contractions are bad, I think. And it may just be me, but the line "Just what is wrong with my eldest" is sort of a sudden change in topic. Perhaps a line or two leading up to it?

 

And yeah, I'm glad to see that things are progressing, as well.  Keep at it, Bri!

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Actually, that line is still in the rework stage. I did say it was a rough draft.

 

Hmm...I will have to think on the contraction bit.

[neriana]

You've done an excellent job in writing the dialogue for Keldorn, in my opinion.  With some mods I've played, the banters with NPCs don't really fit the bioware character very well.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I agree, this is really well done. A little grammatical polish is all it needs, and that's the easy part.