Preview Aklon-Aerie Banter

[BigRob]

Since a few people want to see a bit of teaser material, I figured I'd post up one of the Aklon-Aerie banters I've completed over the last few weeks. I may come later and do a little editing, so this may not be the banter as it appears in the final version, but it'll have the same tone. Comments and criticism are always welcomed.

 

 

 

 

Aklon: You seem distracted, Aerie. What vexes you?

 

Aerie: No, it’s nothing. I-It’s just... Do you think we will be going much farther today?

 

Aklon: I think we may have some way to travel yet before we can find rest. It is your feet that trouble you, is it not?

 

Aerie: Yes, that’s right. I don’t want to slow everyone down, but they ache so much, and I keep falling behind.

 

Aklon: It is alright, <CHARNAME> knew you were not used to travel. I am sure that <PRO_HESHE> will understand and allow as best <PRO_HESHE> can.

 

Aerie: I just wish I could keep up with everyone else, you all make it look so easy.

 

Aklon: Walking lightly and swiftly is a skill, one I am sure you will learn. Your legs will serve you well, Aerie, give them time to find their strength.

 

Aerie: Did... Did you ever have this problem?

Aklon: Indeed I did. When first I walked in the world, my feet were covered in blisters for many weeks. Speaking of blisters, I am sure you will have your own share this night. I will try to have something ready to ease them.

 

Aerie: Thank you, Aklon.

 

Aklon: Think nothing of it.

[Silver]

I always thought Aerie should be a lightfooted elf, but since she was an avariel >.> .. (well she IS one, just without wings) ... it is kinda hard for her I guess (damn her low HP... she's probablythe best person to give the robe of Vecna to though)

 

anyway, I'm digressing, as always *sigh*

I like it! Aklon seems to be such a sweety XD

[BigRob]

Glad you like it. This is the first one I wrote, and the most basic, the idea being drawn from the wording in her "fatigued" voice clip. The others have more personality (so I think anyway), so I'm saving those for release.

 

 

Any other comments and criticisms, just fire away.

[KIrving]

It looks good to me, BigRob. Although, Aklon could have offered to give her a piggyback ride.

[Guest Guest]

You have just made my day.

 

You're right, it doesn't exactly delve into Aklon's personality, but his tone and his seemingly effortless compassion in this banter do tell a lot about him

 

If I may nitpick:

It is your feet that trouble you, is it not?

This sentence seems a bit awkward - at first glance, there seems to be a contradiction b/w the singular "is" and plural "feet", but it should be grammatically correct if the "it" Aklon is referring to is simply the problem that's troubling Aerie. Perhaps "Your feet trouble you, do they not?" would just flow better?

 

 

It is alright, <CHARNAME> knew you were not used to travel.

I think "...knows you are..." would work better, as currently the sentence (to me, at least) implies that because <CHARNAME> *knew* Aerie would have problems, he/she planned ahead for it...I honestly thought Aklon's next sentence was going to be a less chessy version of "So he/she had me buy these FATIGUE-GONE boots for you!" >The party has gained an item<

 

Those are minor points of course, as I much enjoyed the preview -- especially

Indeed I did. When first I walked in the world, my feet were covered in blisters for many weeks.

Heehee.

 

Thanks BigRob

[Tarayani]

Oh poop. The above was me.

Where have all my cookies gone??

[BigRob]

Devoured by the Cookie Monster?

 

 

 

It looks good to me, BigRob.  Although, Aklon could have offered to give her a piggyback ride.

 

Now, now, the girl'll never toughen up if we go spoiling her.

 

Thanks KIrving, nice to see it meets your approval.

 

 

You have just made my day.

 

You're right, it doesn't exactly delve into Aklon's personality, but his tone and his seemingly effortless compassion in this banter do tell a lot about him 

 

If I may nitpick:

It is your feet that trouble you, is it not?

This sentence seems a bit awkward - at first glance, there seems to be a contradiction b/w the singular "is" and plural "feet", but it should be grammatically correct if the "it" Aklon is referring to is simply the problem that's troubling Aerie. Perhaps "Your feet trouble you, do they not?" would just flow better?

Nit-pick away, that's why the thread's here.

 

Point taken though, that first line is a bit twisty. Aklon's dialogue is meant to be slightly over-inflated, but that's carrying things a bit far.

 

 

It is alright, <CHARNAME> knew you were not used to travel.

I think "...knows you are..." would work better, as currently the sentence (to me, at least) implies that because <CHARNAME> *knew* Aerie would have problems, he/she planned ahead for it...I honestly thought Aklon's next sentence was going to be a less chessy version of "So he/she had me buy these FATIGUE-GONE boots for you!" >The party has gained an item<

Nope, no special boots for poor Aerie, salve is as close as Aklon can manage.

 

I'm not sure I agree wih you totally on this point. Aklon's talking in the past tnese, because Aerie's inexperience is a given before she joins up with the party. Aklon then goes on to say <CHARNAME> should understand her current situation and won't drive her too hard. Well, that's the way I thought when I was writing. But it won't change the meaning if I alter the first sentence to match tense. I'll put a note down for that one.

 

 

Those are minor points of course, as I much enjoyed the preview -- especially

Indeed I did. When first I walked in the world, my feet were covered in blisters for many weeks.

Heehee.

 

Thanks BigRob

 

I'm glad you enjoyed it. And as for those blisters... everyone has to start somewhere, don't they?

[Bookwyrme]

I like the banter & Aklon's willingness to help Aerie adjust. But, wouldn't she be able to heal her feet?

[BigRob]

Thanks for the praise Bookwyrme.

 

 

On the point you raise, absolutely, Aerie could cast a spell and heal her own feet, if she chose. The question then comes up of whether or not she has any healing spells memorised at the time, and if she's thinking of the party and saving her spells for more dire emergency.

 

I think of this banter more in the way you said, of Aklon offering to help her, and her accepting a kindness, not that she can't do any fixing of her own. I could always add a check to see if she has any Cure Light Wounds present and modify the dialogue accordingly.

[KIrving]

If Aerie keeps healing her feet though, those blisters will never develop into lovely calluses.

Of course, this idea of magically healing things always makes me think of the desire some characters may have to show off battle scars.

"Can you just heal me enough to stop the massive blood loss because I think this one is going to be a beauty?"

[Tarayani]

If Aerie keeps healing her feet though, those blisters will never develop into lovely calluses.  

Of course, this idea of magically healing things always makes me think of the desire some characters may have to show off battle scars. 

"Can you just heal me enough to stop the massive blood loss because I think this one is going to be a beauty?"

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Not to mention that callouses would just plain be more useful as then Aerie wouldn't be pained with every step she took...

 

I'm not sure I agree wih you totally on this point. Aklon's talking in the past tnese, because Aerie's inexperience is a given before she joins up with the party. Aklon then goes on to say <CHARNAME> should understand her current situation and won't drive her too hard.

Hmm...after reading your explanation and then going back and rereading the dialogue, it now makes perfect sense to me. However, I think that may be b/c I mentally inserted the "when he/she let you join" as I knew that was what you meant. So now I don't know if I was just being obtuse on my first reading or if the dialogue actually is a little confusing there...*goes off to ponder*

[BigRob]

If Aerie keeps healing her feet though, those blisters will never develop into lovely calluses.  

Of course, this idea of magically healing things always makes me think of the desire some characters may have to show off battle scars. 

"Can you just heal me enough to stop the massive blood loss because I think this one is going to be a beauty?"

 

Isn't that why priests still bother with "Cure Light Wounds" when everyone has, like, 80+ hit points?

 

 

Hmm...after reading your explanation and then going back and rereading the dialogue, it now makes perfect sense to me.  However, I think that may be b/c I mentally inserted the "when he/she let you join" as I knew that was what you meant. So now I don't know if I was just being obtuse on my first reading or if the dialogue actually is a little confusing there...*goes off to ponder*

 

I shouldn't have to give everyone a running commentary of Aklon's dialogue for it to make sense though. If it's confusing at first reading, it's worth looking at, if only to see if multiple people have the same take on it.

[Menelanna]

Like the dialog. This mod really is looking great. Can't wait to see what else this cutie has to say when I can finally play your mod! Keep up the good work and keep giving us as many little teasers as you please.

[BigRob]

Glad you like it. Let me get a few more NPCs under my belt and I'll get to releasing a couple more samples. Don't want to spoil the final product completely, you know.

[Menelanna]

hehe I know. You really don't have to give anymore teasers to get me to take the mod....you won me over months ago! I can't wait for this mod! *squeels like a little girl*

But that little wingless whinner is talking to my monk boy!? *shoves Aerie into the next dragon lair they pass and takes Alkon all for herself*

 

if I ever get too wierd (it does happen on rare occassons) take a look at my picture there...know who that is? Inuyasha. If I get too silly just yell SIT! and I will stop...*some yells SIT!*......*ouch*