Bri Posted September 21, 2003 Share Posted September 21, 2003 What's the difference between an intelligent country lad and that same boy after a big bowl of beans? One is a smart feller... What's the difference between a nun at prayer and a nun in a bubble bath? One has hope in her soul... What's the difference between a straight rodeo and a gay rodeo? At one, they yell, "Ride them suckers..." What's the difference between mono and herpes? You get mono from snatching a kiss... What's the difference between a cross-eyed hunter and a constipated owl? One shoots and can't hit... What's the difference between a baby and the conductor of a women's choir? One sucks his fingers... What's the difference between a telephone prank and a hesitating woman? One is a calling stunt... What's the difference between an epileptic oyster and a prostitute with diarrhea? One you shuck between fits... What's the difference between a midget magician and a female jogger? One is a cunning runt... What's the difference between an archery accomplishment and a dumb female? One is a cupid stunt... What's the difference between the host of 'Candid Camera' telephoning and a tripped woman? One is a calling Funt... What's the difference between Dr Scholl's footpads and a symphony conductor? One bucks up the feet... What's the difference between a seamstress and a violist? One tucks up the frills... What's the difference between a lawyer and a rooster defending his hens? One clucks defiance... What's the difference between an acrobatic performance and a nude chorus line? One is an array of cunning stunts... Link to comment
Grim Squeaker Posted September 21, 2003 Author Share Posted September 21, 2003 Whats the difference between a plastic surgeon and an offsted inspector? One tucks up features... Link to comment
Bri Posted September 21, 2003 Share Posted September 21, 2003 Oooh! Nice one Grim... Heh...too bad we can't fit a comedian into the module that will say these off color jokes as a side bet... Hmm...or maybe we could... And of course he will have something special for Anomen as he passes by? Link to comment
Grim Squeaker Posted September 21, 2003 Author Share Posted September 21, 2003 Oooh! Nice one Grim... Heh...too bad we can't fit a comedian into the module that will say these off color jokes as a side bet... Hmm...or maybe we could... And of course he will have something special for Anomen as he passes by? I'm actually working on a de'Arnise Hold jester mini-mod that I suppose could include some jokes... Link to comment
CamDawg Posted September 22, 2003 Share Posted September 22, 2003 Oh yeah, add the jokes. The beta you sent me was only at sound effects. Link to comment
Bri Posted September 22, 2003 Share Posted September 22, 2003 Do it, do it! *waves her unmentionables at Grim* Link to comment
Uriel Posted September 28, 2003 Share Posted September 28, 2003 Umm, forgive me if I sound dense and obtuse, but I just don't get any of these jokes.... Link to comment
Bri Posted September 28, 2003 Share Posted September 28, 2003 Don't worry about it Uriel, I was the same way my first time when I heard these... What you have to do with these jokes is transpose them...for example, with this joke: What's the difference between a cross-eyed hunter and a constipated owl? One shoots and can't hit... You would get the full answer by transposing the sh of shoots to the -it of hit...and putting the h of hit before the -oots of shoots. Thus you would get the answer of... "One shoots and can't hit...the other hoots and can't shit..." Just one more example...for this one: What's the difference between an intelligent country lad and that same boy after a big bowl of beans? One is a smart feller... You need to transpose the s in smart and the f in feller to get... "One is a smart feller...the other is a fart smeller..." The reason I don't transpose the other ones here? It gets quite...er...raunchy... Link to comment
Uriel Posted September 28, 2003 Share Posted September 28, 2003 Ahhhh, thank you Bri, however I don't think I may ever get the hang of these in the near future, if ever. I've never been any good at riddles and trick jokes, I just don't have the right mindset for this. About the "raunchy" jokes, I'd most likely never be offended at them, because I have a close friend who is, well, I really don't have an adjective to properly descibe him. Let's just say he's somewhat "questionable", heh. Uriel Link to comment
Uriel Posted September 28, 2003 Share Posted September 28, 2003 Check that, I'm getting this... hehe my God! I guess if I *really* put my mind to it, I could come up with some, however I'm too quiet and respectful of public decency to post them. Uriel Link to comment
Bri Posted September 28, 2003 Share Posted September 28, 2003 Heh...yeah, these are hard to construct, but once you see one, you can't help but get used to them. Sometimes, it also helps to say them out loud Link to comment
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